Go Me

Well on Wednesday AF was supposed to show up. I was feeling crampy but I didn't get AF. Thursday morning I thought sure as shit AF would rear her ugly face but nothing. DH and I were leaving for a camping trip in the bush for the weekend so on the way I stopped and bought some tests. AF is never ever late. I wasn't even really hopeful on Thursday because I thought AF was just playing a cruel joke on me. But by late Thursday afternoon I couldn't contain myself, so out into the bush I went and peed on a stick. Sure enough, only one line showed up. I didn't really understand what the eff was going on. Everytime I made a trip to the bathroom, I would tell DH that she still wasn't here. I was starting to get a little bit excited but still had the thought in my head that it was going to be a cruel joke.

Friday morning I wake up, no AF still. Two days late, never ever happens. So I go to the bush again and pee on a stick. One line shows up, WTF!!!! The weather was shitty, it was raining all day and I was waiting on stupid AF. Sure enough, later in the afternoon AF appears. For what could have been the ultimate miserable day, out in the bush, I have the biggest glimmer of pregnancy in our entire TTC battle, rain, cold and then AF......

But I took the high road, not a single tear was shed, no big pity party for this girl. DH was dissappointed, he told me that he was getting a little bit excited. I am proud of myself for keeping my emotions in check. I'm still pissed off that she teased me like that. I wonder WTF is the matter with us, three rounds of clomid and nothing. And plus, AF is getting lighter and lighter every month. Maybe I will get answers next week when I have my procedure done.

The rest of the camping trip turned out to be ok. Friday night the rain turned into snow as we were heading to our tent, but we kept warm. Saturday was an alright day weatherwise. I couldn't help but feel like bear bait all weekend. I swear I read somewhere that bears can smell blood, but maybe that was just sharks. Its not fun camping in the middle of the bush with AF and no bathrooms. I definately felt like a grizzly woman!

My BFF had his first very-much-an-accident baby on Tuesday. He was so happy and excited. He cried for half an hour when she was born and kept telling me how beautiful she was and how much he loves her. He definately has never been a kids-guy so I asked him if he was scared to hold her....but no, it all comes naturel when it is your baby! Ouch, I could have broken down on the phone but I kept it together and had a little pity party on DH's shoulder when I got off the phone.

I've been feeling a little down this week when it comes to babies. First, my BFF has his baby (and I am seriously happy for him), then my ex-BFF just had a baby on the weekend, and we were always very competitive. My friend is celebrating her daughters 2nd bday on the weekend and all I hear about is how much she is changing, how great it is to hear I love you, etc etc.

WILL IT EVER BE OUR TURN????????????????

Anyways, the more I think about it the more bummed out it makes me. So until next time...