I Want That, Right Now

And that leads us to today, still not pregnant.

Who knew it was going to be so difficult? I am really starting to stress about it and don't have anyone to talk to it about. Sure I've told a few people but no one (including DH) knows how much I am strugglling with this. I even bought a basal body temperture thingy and have been trying really hard to keep up with it. I even quit drinking caffiene for about a month.

DH thinks it will happen when it happens, part of me believes him, part of me doesn't. We haven't been on birth control for years and years. An explanation to why we haven't gotten pregnant in the past is probably because DH was gone for ridiculous amounts of time. Its hard to get pregnant when you are alone.

I'm getting to the point where it is hard for me to be around friends that are pregnant or have kids. I WANT THAT, RIGHT NOW. I want my kid to look up into my eyes with unconditional love. I want to see DH excel as a father, I want to be the mother to his children, I want to be pregnant and get fat.

Please please lord, pass the gift of children on to my husband and I.