STUPID AF

Well I'm back posting again to get some shit off my mind.

I got my stupid period again. I had myself all convinced that I was pregnant. I had been feeling well all week, boobs were sore, had a super low tolerance for alcohol, etc etc. I kept myself from testing until Saturday morning, when AF was due. Friday night when I went to bed I kept thinking to myself, this is my last normal night, the last night before I find out I am pregnant. DH even said all week that I had a mischievous twinkle in my eye all week.

I'm starting to give up hope. I don't know if I will ever have a baby that I desperately want. I tried being all positive this month that this was the month and BOOM, AF breaks my heart. Last night when I went to bed I wanted to cry and cry and cry. I just don't understand why God hasn't given me a baby.

Now DH is back gone away to work and its going to be hit and miss for a long time. There isn't even any point to doing clomid this month as he will be gone by the time I'm ovulating.

Why is it so hard for us????? WHY