Better

I am feeling a little better today. I have been having a pity party the day my period arrives for the last few months and there is nothing I can do about it. Honestly I think it is part of the process, kind of a grieving process. TTC unsuccessfully is the hardest thing that I have ever been thru and I just pray that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

I had a great chat with my mom last night. I just needed to talk to someone. To let all my problems and fears come out. I didn't hold anything back and it felt great, even though I don't like hearing opinions about DR's etc. But I did feel like my mom understood that this isn't easy and that it isn't something that I can just forget about and not worry about.

I just love the way my mom can make me feel better. I'm a 25 year old woman that still calls my mom when I'm sick and feel much better after talking to her. I hope that one day I can be that good of mom to my child.

I found this quote last night that I am thinking about passing on to a few friends to enlighten their understanding:

"The experience of infertility plunges people into contact with the outermost reaches of their humanity. Infertility is a profound crisis that threatens identity, relationships, and continuity. It threatens one’s sense of the world, it disturbs beliefs and assumptions, and it belies safety and security. It is an emergency that uses up coping skills, and depletes resources; people start to run on empty as their chronic stress levels move into the area of trauma. Infertility can shut people down emotionally, it necessarily limits and narrows; people are functioning in “emergency mode,” a black and white vantage point that oversimplifies for the purpose of survival. This is not the best place to understand the complexities of human interactions, or the perspective of the “other;” this is a time to survive, and everything else may feel inessential, a luxury."